Why these young people bought a home for their parents

For years, property conversations in Australia have centred around the “bank of mum and dad” – parents helping adult children break into the housing market. However, in many migrant families, the financial flow often runs in the opposite direction.

In my own Filipino-Australian family, helping my mum, Patricia, 61, secure her home was never framed as an obligation. Between my younger sister Jasmine and me, it simply felt like the next step in ensuring stability for someone who had spent decades building a life for her children in a new country.

When my mum and sister bought a home together in Newcastle in 2023, it came at a pivotal moment. The First Home Guarantee expanded that year to include family members applying jointly, allowing them to buy with a five per cent deposit and no lender’s mortgage insurance, making home ownership possible far sooner than expected.

My role was both practical and financial. I contributed to my mum’s share of the deposit, helped navigate the paperwork, and continue to assist with occasional living costs when needed – from yearly medical bills to unexpected family emergencies overseas.

My sister lived in the home with our mum for just over a year before moving to Sydney with her partner. She still contributes equally to their joint mortgage, while our mum contributes modestly to help offset the loss of potential rental income.

For our family, this arrangement was never solely about property ownership; it was about long-term security. As a widowed single mother and single-income earner, our mum faced the prospect of renting indefinitely. Supporting her home ownership felt like anchoring her future.

It stands in stark contrast to the narratives many Australians are familiar with – and ones I have often heard – from parents covering house deposits or funding big renovations to one story I will never forget, where a property was gifted as a wedding present.

However, examples of the reverse bank of mum and dad dynamic surface in many migrant households. Take Melbourne-based artist and architect John Gatip, 32, also of Filipino heritage.

Gatip lives with his parents, Jean, 62, and Rodel, 67, in a home they bought in 2014. After his father retired nearly a decade ago, Gatip and his sister began contributing to the mortgage alongside their mother.

“There is definitely that unspoken migrant expectation, but it is still a choice at the end of the day,” he says. “As the eldest son, there is that sense of responsibility to help the family unit. I’ve come to embrace this cultural trope, which is very different to how Western families often handle these situations.”

Financially, Gatip acknowledges the arrangement has influenced his own housing timeline. Watching friends buy homes or move freely between rentals has occasionally sparked introspection.

“I see people my age setting up their own life and having that financial freedom to move around,” he says. “I’m fortunate that my career has allowed me to support my parents and still enjoy life, but like anyone with mortgage commitments, it impacts how much I can save.”

Emotionally, his perspective has shifted over time.

“There is this expectation in Australian culture to frown upon living with parents, especially at my age,” he says. “For a long time, I held shame, but through time and perspective, I’ve come to reject that. I’ve come to cherish how our family pushed through migrating, settling in and building roots here. Growth takes time.”

Gatip says pride has gradually replaced comparison.

“For me, it’s been an emotional evolution from shame to pride in being able to support my parents,” he says, laughing. “And I won’t lie – having home-cooked Filipino meals is a pretty good bonus.”

Hearing others credit parental financial assistance as a pathway into property ownership once felt discouraging, he admits. But he has since reframed what parental support can look like.

“People who receive financial help from their parents are incredibly lucky,” he says. “But looking back, I realise my parents supported me in different ways – through encouragement, education and giving me the freedom to pursue a creative career.

“Migrant parents often invest in their children’s future rather than building wealth for themselves.”