How long you should wait before moving in together

It felt like just the other week we were caught completely off guard when photos emerged of pop star Mariah Carey holding hands with none other than Australian billionaire James Packer.

Now news has broken that within just five months of dating, the unlikely celebrity couple has taken that next big leap in commitment: moving in together.

The We Belong Together singer has reportedly packed up her belongings from the house she was renting and moved into Packer’s Beverly Hills mansion just up the road.

The couple’s quick progression from holiday hand-holding to cohabitation has raised eyebrows and the question on everyone’s mind: how long should you wait before moving in with your new partner?

Although there is no real stipulation about how long you should wait, you’d be forgiven for following the general rule of thumb (that may or may not always work out): If your partner owns and lives in a huge million-dollar Beverly Hills mansion, drop whatever you are doing and move in immediately.

But John Aiken, dating expert and relationship psychologist for RSVP, has perhaps some more sensible advice.

He suggests waiting at least 12 months to really make sure you know the person you are moving in with.

“This gives you a chance to see them in different situations, with different people and get a sense of how you really feel for them before taking the next step,” Aiken says.

Before you decide to move in together, make sure you are on the same page about the future. Photo: Supplied.

However, as you get older, life experience might make it easier for you to work out if you and your partner are compatible, as may be the case for Carey, 45, and Packer, 48.

“Generally you’ll have more relationship experience and know more about what you want and don’t want as you get older,” Aiken says.

“This then allows you to know what you’re getting into when thinking about moving in together, and be more prepared and well established to make the step up.”

But no matter what your age, Aiken still recommends taking your time and being wary of alarm bells – such as a lack of commitment or big issues with your partner’s family members – that signal moving in together may not be the wisest idea.

Five things to discuss before moving in together:

Aiken says there are five topics you should broach with your partner before making the decision to move in together.

1. Feelings for each other

Are you in love, are you excited about the future, what are your fears and insecurities?

2. Your relationship expectations

Do you want to get married, are kids a priority, how much travel would you like to do, what would your parenting style be and what are your health and fitness goals?

3. Communication and conflict resolution

How do you both deal with criticism, what is your ability to say sorry, do you put each other down, are you complementary, are you each other’s cheerleaders?

4. Sex and intimacy needs

Are your sexual needs compatible, who initiates intimacy, what about your levels of affection?

5. Career and finances 

Do you have similar career goals, will you get a joint bank account, how will you budget, do you have similar spending and saving tendencies, are your work hours compatible?