Parliament House sells under the hammer at mock auction

Light-filled, spacious and fully landscaped – Parliament House is full of real estate’s favourite superlatives.

If you could buy your way into this architecturally designed masterpiece with high ceilings, floor-to-ceiling windows and vast, internal courtyards, who would be making an offer?

That’s what the team at Independent Property Group pondered in the lead up to the federal election, so they filmed a mock auction on the lawns of Canberra’s most recognisable building.

Auctioneer Mark Larmer kicked off the proceedings, running through some of the property’s standout features.

“It comprises 250,000 square metres of living and 4700 rooms and is all set on a prime parcel of Canberra’s inner south land,” Mr Larmer said.

“Our client has decided to release it with the hope of paying back our national debt, which is tipping some $5.7 trillion. So we’d very much like to thank them for the sacrifice they’ve made for the Australian economy.”

Mr Larmer was upfront about the asset, disclosing to the crowd that the building report revealed signs of white-anting and a number of leaks, “with the source still yet to be identified”.

It did not deter the registered parties, with Mr Larmer suggesting that each bidder had formed an emotional attachment to the house.

A cashed-up bidder called Gina placed the opening bid of $3 trillion, but she faced stiff competition from a number of other prominent parties, including locals Bill, Tony and Clive, a Danish phone bidder named Mary, and an American dog owner known only as Johnny.

The winning bid of $6 trillion was placed by another American and his identity was revealed via phone interview at the end of the video.

Without giving away the ending, it turns out that democracy – in Australia, at least – is preferable to the alternative.